THE BAND: This one'z fo' de ladiez

These past few weeks have been mayhem. But this is how it works... At least I'm taking my own advice, right? When I started this series, I made the comment about if you have ten spare seconds in your day and blah blah blah blz.ldvjinhoierhi .i.oipnjhe3ropasdc;ikujhv;oi3o;wg

Sorry, just fell asleep at the keyboard.

Lots has been happening, and I haven't scribbled down a darn thing. I'm supposed to write the second half of the last entry, in which we began to explore the psyche of the type of individual who is willing to put themselves out there in front of EVERYBODY, physically and emotionally, and probe the potential deep underlying motives for such behaviour.

However, I am in no mood for philosophical musings. I'm exhausted. So I'd just like to have a nice, mindless little blog-therapy session and journal about what's been going on. Axl, I'll psychoanalyze your crazy a** later.

Let's start with a bang, the highlight of everything, the culmination of a lot of time, a decent chunk of change, plenty of sweat and effort, and some SERIOUSLY unwanted repetition of a select slice of the back catalogue of one particular 80's hair band. So my band actually went out and played our first show on Saturday night, and it was freakin' FABULOUS. The girls in this band worked SO hard to make it what it was.
[This is the point where we reach the fine line between an informative/interesting read, and a tabloid. I never want to delve too far into the personal lives of the people I reference. So no worries.]
Anyways... So we were totally proud of ourselves, as we should be. How often DO people do what we just did? It feels a little dreamlike- we met on CRAIGSLIST for crying out loud! Have I gone there yet?
I'll go there.
So it's like 3 months ago and I'm BORED. Because I work at Such-and-such Financial Systems, Inc. And like any good office employee, I use my time wisely- playing on the internet. Kind of like I am now. So I decide to have a look-see at the ol' List, partially because I was curious to see if anyone posted anything cool in the musician section, partially because I REALLY get a kick out of reading some of those personal ads. No not THOSE ones, you pervs.
As luck would have it, I stumble upon a listing for a female lead guitar player and I'm like, "Hey, that's me!" So I respond. A couple hours later I am WASTED with coworkers ('cause office people get WASTED), and I get this phone call... from a really sweet-voiced girl on the other end. It's the guitar player for this already-formed all-girl band. They're just missing a 2nd guitar.
I have my guard up, like I do. I know how to turn it on and be the "life" of a social circumstance, but I'm a very standoffish person in certain situations. I've been told that I come off as unpredictable and abrasive. This might have been one of those times. But like I said, I was blitzed so I couldn't really tell ya. All I know is that at some point the information was leaked that I was in talks with this girl about joining... a... RATTcoverbandokiIsaidit. And that's just about how she told me, too. :) All uncertain, because apparently these girls have been blown off before by people who just weren't that interested in playing in a... RATT cover band. And that's understandable. Even you- you're reading this, probably wondering, "So why didn't you just hang up?"
I don't know... As soon as I found out that that's what I was signing up for, my insides flipped a little bit. I started getting all these grandiose ideas about infiltrating the band from the inside, hijacking their pirate ship and sailing them towards cooler waters. 'Cause I'm a megalomaniac.
But what really kept me on the phone was her. She just sounded like such a... NICE PERSON. Not at all what I was expecting... I was thinking that this was going to be a bunch of butch metal biker broads who are gonna kick my a** and rape me with a broomstick first time I show up to practice. But we just seemed to hit it off on the phone instantly (hey, don't we all hit it off with everybody after 5 Jameson's on the rocks?), and even though after 3 minutes of communication I was already spouting off about changing this and that and whatnot like it was already my band, she and the bassist STILL agreed to meet me. Score!
So I kind of met up with these girls on the premise that I think I'm this all-powerful force that can just arrange things around me to my liking. Which is an obvious fact when you consider that I am single, I work 9-5 at a finance firm, and I live in New Jersey.
First meeting went well. I kept the poker (read: I want you to think I'm way cooler than I am) face on, and I think that for at least like the first meeting or two they bought it. Double score! The first shocker was when the two of them wanted to meet at a coffee shop and not a bar. WAIT- this is a rock'n'roll band I'm joining, right? RIGHT? We are of course going to get hammered together all the time and go out and f**k s**t up, RIGHT? Ooohh, man. The guitar player does yoga. I'm damned. At least this coffee shop serves beer.
So the three of us got together and talked, and it was great. These two are all cool-lookin' with their tattoos and awesome hair, but they seemed so... CALM. They seemed like nice, normal people who have functional lives, healthy interpersonal relationships and show up to places when they're supposed to be there. Did I miss something?
So at meeting's end, the three of us mutually concluded that this could go somewhere. That I might make an acceptable addition to their outfit, and their outfit was something I might like to be an addition to. And just like that... I was in a band.


Tune in next time for more of this riveting saga. My mom says these blogs are so long that she only reads the whole thing because she's my mom and she has to. She was all like, "I just kept reading, and reading, and reading..." Thanks, Mom. Glad to know my work kept you on the edge of your seat. Literally. Poised to walk away from the computer as soon as you completed the guilt-burdened task of reading your only child's heart-on-a-page. *weeping  

Anyways... before this continues, I will be doing a few exercises in brevity. Good night and good luck.